I am more than tempted to lay all of the blame squarely at the feet of my husband, who has never supported this idea 100% anyway, but in truth it wasn't entirely his fault. If he and I had communicated better about what we had planned for our kids' Halloween party then maybe I could have - for example - gotten off my fat a*** and climbed up into the loft to see what we had up there from last year ... that single action might have prevented my ever-forgetful husband from going to the cheap supermarket and buying a whole load of nasty nasty decorations, party requisites (disposable!) and fancy dress toys.
We have two children. But we now have enough tacky costumes to entirely outfit a whole children's home of kids as ghouls, vampires and assorted other beasties. The masks and costumes alone fill a whole crate. I am appalled by the wastefulness. It is against everything I have come to believe in recently. The costumes and decorations are all crappy, commercialised, cheap manky bits of TAT imported from China, a country which has little or no repsect for either the environment or basic human employment rights (or other human rights, for that matter. Look at Tibet).
Not happy.
sally_in_wales Downsizer Moderator
Joined: 06 Mar 2005 Posts: 20809 Location: sunny wales
Posted: Wed Nov 01, 06 8:24 am Post subject:
oops! However, look at it another way. This time last year would you have been so totally horrified by it? If the answer is no, then you have still imporved on things because as a family you are much more aware of how you feel about the things you buy.
Chalk this one up to experience, and if you can geta few years partying out of the 'disposables' then they havent gone to waste entirely
hedgewitch
Joined: 26 Nov 2005 Posts: 5834 Location: Daft wench GHQ
Posted: Wed Nov 01, 06 8:32 am Post subject:
Yup - I'd agree with Sally on this, Lozzie. I think there's going to be things that happen like this. They're very frustrating, but the main thing is the lesson learned. It could be a good practice run for christmas for you and your partner, so you can talk over how you're going to tackle the festive season along the buy nothing new lines. If you go in for christmas, that is
I was going to ask - Do you think I need to speak to my OH about this? I just merrily assumed that he already understood my feelings about this kind of stuff - god knows, he seems to understand just about every other thing about me. He's been right behind me on the Christmas thing (I've been doing quite well on eBay).
sally_in_wales Downsizer Moderator
Joined: 06 Mar 2005 Posts: 20809 Location: sunny wales
Posted: Wed Nov 01, 06 8:59 am Post subject:
He probably thought he was being helpful and saving you the worry of having to sort it all out. Make sure he understands that you feel you'd rather not do that again next year, but don't have a go at him, phrase it more as 'I've realised that I feel this about the halloween thing' rather than 'I wish you had/hadnt...'
hedgewitch
Joined: 26 Nov 2005 Posts: 5834 Location: Daft wench GHQ
Posted: Wed Nov 01, 06 9:06 am Post subject:
You don't sound like you're really out of tune with each other, so I agree with Sally that he probably thought he was helping. I'd put it in a positive way.. "Next year, wouldn't it be good to make our own costumes/food for the party... " presenting him with the idea of building on what you're doing.
I think people can be supportive of what you're doing, but maybe not really think it through. I suspect he was just really trying to help, and if you hadn't discussed it specifically beforehand, he probably thought he was taking the initiative and helping you
Don't beat yourself up Lozzie - as the others say get as much use out of the tat as possible and have a non confrontational chat with the OH.
I stopped after the first month but feel really guilty now when getting new / non essential things. Especially after I bought some cards the other day. I came out of the shop and declared to DH that wasn't buying them ever again.
I've slipped up a couple of times but on balance I'm doing better than I ever have before. So all in all moving in the right direction .
Cards - I read somewhere about a couple who, on anniversary/birthday/ valentine's day, habitually went into a card shop and spent a happy half hour choosing cards for each other.
Then they would say "Here, darling. Read this!" - They'd exchange the cards, read them, have a giggle, put them back on the shelf, and walk out of the shop!
hedgewitch
Joined: 26 Nov 2005 Posts: 5834 Location: Daft wench GHQ
Posted: Wed Nov 01, 06 3:27 pm Post subject:
Lozzie wrote:
Frewen wrote:
Don't beat yourself up Lozzie -
May I beat HIM up instead?
Cards - I read somewhere about a couple who, on anniversary/birthday/ valentine's day, habitually went into a card shop and spent a happy half hour choosing cards for each other.
Then they would say "Here, darling. Read this!" - They'd exchange the cards, read them, have a giggle, put them back on the shelf, and walk out of the shop!
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